This is my 11th post in the A2Z challenge and I already feel so exhausted. My fingers and eyes need a break from the constant writing and reading schedules. I shudder at the thought of the coming week when Tuneer is scheduled to start his school. I start wondering about managing daily writing with helping him settle down in the new environment! Desperate times call for desperate measures and I decide to grab the bar of Bournville Dark chocolate (apparently purchased for the kid though he has long made his dislike for dark chocolate vocal) and finish it clean within minutes.
Well, this has been the story of my life for as long as I can remember. I eat when I am happy and I also eat when I’m worried. I don’t think my coping up mechanism towards any circumstance, good or bad will work until I savor some of my favorite dishes. I have been that rare kind of child who could never contribute to any conversation that had people speaking about the time when they were not overweight or when they were thin. The weighing scale always tilted towards the right ever since I checked it up for the first time.
When I moved away from home for higher studies, a lot of the acquaintances had expected me to return slimmer. The girls’ hostel of Presidency College, Kolkata indeed served food that could kill anyone’s taste buds. But two things happened soon – I discovered a foodie who is still my best friend and together we spotted the chat/samosa/cold drinks outlet outside the hostel. To cut the story short, I can say that I had been one of the most valuable contributors to the growth of this outlet in my three-year duration in the city. The story wasn’t any different in Delhi, my next destination in student life. Here the hostel food was equally delicious.
If this was my obsession with food as a student, I’m sure that it is easy to deduce how my relationship with dishes became stronger once I started working. Every single occasion – be it getting a job, suffering a heartbreak, quitting my job, enrolling in a B-school or moving cities gave me ample scope and reasons to have lost kilos. But for me, food was bae and kilos were like that unwelcome guest who overstayed their duration. For Sr. T and I, our willingness to experiment with restaurants and its offerings was a strong reason to get married. With time, he has chosen to take the healthy route after realizing that I was never going to change.
During pregnancy, my gynecologist in Bangalore was always concerned about me gaining too much weight on that already overweight frame. Fortunately for her, I suffered such severe nausea for the entire stretch of thirty-four weeks that I all I ended up eating was was mango and puffed rice. After Tuneer was born, people around me were highly optimistic that breastfeeding along with erratic eating and sleeping habits was mostly going to make me shed weight and get into a thinner frame. My daily routine definitely went for a toss but the love for Kolkata style Biriyani and chicken chap didn’t let me lose an inch.
My writing job lets me spend hours at my working desk. While the brain is always working, the body seems to have gone into a deep slumber (except the eyes and fingers). The last ray of hope for these eternal optimist well-wishers was my sons’ school admissions since they could see that nothing much changed during his preschool year.
Well, the inevitable happened in my case. Whenever I went to pick up an admission form, it definitely involved standing in long queues because very few schools in the city believe in the concept of online applications, forget championing Digital India. Once the process of grabbing the form was over (sometimes the schools ran out of forms), I would treat myself to my favorite pasta or momo or anything fancy that caught my eye in that eating joint before returning home. On the date of submission of the same form, I repeated the same schedule.
Very soon the interviews started. After the first one that was all about stress and performance, I had started looking forward to these sessions of interaction. Once they got over, I took up the responsibility of planning a family breakfast or lunch based on the timing. Six months later, I am still at my desk with some extra kilos piled on during this rigorous process of school admissions. Unlike most of the parents, we have miserably failed to sweat it out at the admissions.
Now that the process is over, Sr. T is extremely relieved about the prospect of not accompanying me for such frequent gastronomic adventures. Well-wishers are again hopeful about me getting another chance at losing weight as I start commuting with Tuneer to and from his school next week onwards. Little do they realize that I have already delved into making a list of the yet to be explored food outlets and their specialties in that area. Weight loss will probably have to wait for another life.
Authors note – I am neither advocating unhealthy eating habits nor demeaning the need and desire to stay fit. But I strongly believe in body positivity by embracing myself as I am. If I don’t feel the need to lose weight, it is my choice. I am never going to let anyone else decide it for me.
Thank you for reading and supporting me in this journey of A2Z challenge. Stay tuned as I return with a new post on ‘L’ tomorrow. Until then, you can catch up on the previous posts in this series here.