It’s more than two years of spending every minute with this munchkin. While his father was busy as a frontline warrior, this kid and I held on to each other for support. From his online classes, restaurant outings, and going on trips within the city to dealing with my sickness, we faced it together.
At times, I felt annoyed with not finding a moment for myself. My writing schedule was messed up, and my daily routine went for a toss. Can’t wait for the school to reopen – I often voiced it out.
Last Friday, when he wore the uniform after two long years, picked up the bag, and got into the school bus at 6:40 a.m., it hit me hard how much I was going to miss having him around in the house. When he waved me goodbye at the school gate, I fought hard not to tear up in front of him.
On Monday, he cried a little, and I realized how much he missed attending classes with me. It’s a huge change for the kids, and along with them, parents and teachers are putting in a lot of effort to make this a smooth transition.
On Tuesday, our car followed his school bus in the morning. He wanted to wave me goodbye at the gate, but he also assured me of returning along with his friends by pool car.
Last night, we discussed his fears and insecurities in this new phase. He didn’t cry while speaking about them, and I was glad to be the patient listener instead of my husband. We decided that he was ready to make both onward and return trips by himself. I silently swallowed the lump in my throat; I had to let him find his way out.
A couple of years ago, I wrote a post on the boy’s unusual capability to get emotional and shed tears while he was a preschooler. It became a little better after he started pre-primary school. Deep within my heart, I know that he might still feel sentimental, and we would need to repeat these pep talk sessions frequently. Yet, his efforts and baby steps toward becoming independent touched my heart.
As much as I feel happy that kids are finally going back to the life they deserve after being deprived of the joys of childhood for two years, a tiny part of me will never get over the feeling of a void in the house and my heart.