The metamorphosis of love and romance in my life

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This year, T and I completed two decades of being friends. This is inclusive of the few years of dating and seven years of being married. I had written a post some time back describing how it took us a decade, a broken relationship each and three cities to realize that we were destined to be together. This time, I thought of writing about the fate of romance post marriage.

We were married in June 2011. During that period, my Banking job had me posted in Mysore and T relocated from Kolkata to enroll in an M. D. course there. The initial few months were filled with fun, frolic, and food. We realized that we had so many things in common. We loved movies, experimenting with food and traveling. While I loved the mountains, he preferred the sea but we considered that to be an opportunity to explore different locations together. If there was one area that we never wanted to visit, it had to be the Forests. That is why despite being so near, we never planned a trip to Bandipur or Masinagudi. Truth is that I’m actually scared of any creature bigger than a cockroach. So from lizards to elephants, I would not want any kind of rendezvous with them.

romantic-story-forest-envelope-burglar-balloon
Romantic story – forest, envelope, burglar, balloon

Birthdays and special occasions meant grand celebration with cakes, flowers, balloonsand gifts. Life couldn’t have been more perfect.

The bubble burst soon when my mom passed away within five months of our marriage. There was mayhem in my life. I was shattered deep within but T turned out to be my biggest caregiver. He helped me muster the courage to face the reality by staying supportive and non-judgemental. I realized that our concept of love is so skewed because of the unrealistic romance in movies. Incidents like these actually tested the mettle of a relationship.

During this period, I had a lot of communication issues owing to the inner conflicts. Realizing my mental state, T encouraged me to get back to the habit of writing a diary. Penning down my thoughts turned out to be cathartic. After a few months, I developed a habit of writing short messages to him. Instead of a message on the mobile, I would leave an envelope with a handwritten note inside it. started writing short letters to him. His schedule was earlier than mine. Somedays it would just be about some mundane thing but I kept at it. He rarely wrote back but he never failed to reciprocate through his gestures. He still has the collection of notes safeguarded within the envelopes. They remind us of surviving through the most difficult of times.

In 2014, we moved back to Bangalore to start new jobs. For me, it was homecoming since I had already spent more than five years in the city before. For him, it was a new phase of adjustment again. From house hunting to interviewing cooks, were equal partners in sorting out life and associate requirements in a new city. Life had become full of surprises again, the biggest one being my pregnancy. It was difficult to cope up with unusual physical complications, a full-time Banking job and without family. I decided to avail maternity leave from my eight-month onwards.

On the third day of my resting period, we had gone out for a movie to celebrate the new phase about to begin. On returning back, we noticed that the front door of our apartment was wide open. I was confident about having locked it before leaving. Within minutes our worst fears came true as it was evident that a burglary had taken place. The debit cards and books were scattered on the bed. The wardrobes had been rummaged. Fortunately, we never kept jewelry or large amounts of cash in the house. The only thing that interested the burglars was cash of five thousand that was the salary to be paid to my house-help the next day.

The police were informed and an FIR was lodged. It was soon discovered that two more apartments in the building had been broken into. Cash and golden ornaments had been stolen. The incident was a trigger point for the families to coax us to shift back to Kolkata until it was time for me to join back work.

The year after my son was born, we moved back to Kolkata for good. Life had suddenly taken a different turn as we became parents. The significance of balloons wasn’t restricted to being an adornment on the walls anymore but they were an item of joy that evoked giggles of our infant. Understanding birds and animals have become a recent hobby with the toddler now. Just last week, I chanced upon a conversation where T was discussing a trip to Kaziranga National Park, Assam. I guess a trip is being planned to Dooars forest this year end and I am already ransacking my brains to find an excuse to avoid it.

In the past two decades, T has written a letter to me only once. I had quit my job soon after moving back to Kolkata. Initially, I had planned on rejoining the corporate world once my son started preschool. But this sabbatical gave me a chance to connect with my passion for writing. T and I had endless conversations about the prospect of me being a solopreneur and he was definitely more excited than me. Every step that I took to venture out in this direction, my inner dilemma made me retrace my steps until I received an envelope inside my Agatha Christie book. It had three lines written on a white sheet of paper.

Quit your fears, not your dreams.

No matter what, we will always have each other’s back.

I love you, forever and always

Last year on September 13, soniasmusings.com was launched. It’s been a year of my journey as a blogger and then a published author and I dedicate this post to the man who has been the fire under my wings. I realized that the definition of love and romance has changed with time and age, with the arrival of kids and on circumstances. The cakes, flowers, candlelight dinners mostly have been replaced by grocery lists, toys and play zone outings. But what hasn’t changed is that special feeling of being together as a single team. Our romance has evolved into a more mature, solid and beautiful love story.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Author: Sonia Chatterjee

Who am I? Ex-Banker turned Blogger/Writer/Solopreneur. Any qualifications? A Post graduate degree in Chemistry followed by Post Graduate Diploma in Management. I am still trying to figure out how and when I can connect all these dots to what I do presently. Have I done any real work? If two years in Market Research and six years in Banking (three different Banks though) as Branch Head can be considered as real work. Where do I live? After a nomadic sixteen years in Delhi, Bangalore & Mysore, I am back to where it all started from - Kolkata. My favorite things - Food, travel, books and my two and half year old toddler son What is this blog about ? Sonia's musings is an attempt to channelize emotions through words and pictures hoping they touch a chord with my visitors.

51 thoughts on “The metamorphosis of love and romance in my life”

  1. This post is so beautiful, especially the part about the notes in the envelopes. I fear so few people do that kind of thing now. When my husband was courting me (nearly 50 years ago), we would write letters through the post when we were apart. I still have every one of them. We are a team and I hope you and your loved one will be a team for many years to come.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve certainly had an eventful relationship, Sonia. The most heartwarming part of your post was the mention of the letters, because that’s the bond that cemented mine with my husband too. Letters, hand-written ones. You are blessed and fortunate to have T in your life and I wish you all the love, luck and happiness in the world as you continue on this journey together.

    Many congratulations on the blog anniversary. May this be the start of even more years of consistent writing and blogging. Stay blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Loved reading this post! And I completely agree. Movies show a very over-romanticized version of love, which is sweet and all, but the strength of any relationship is in the daily commitment, and undying, unwavering, unconditional love and support.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Its a beautiful, candid, post Sonia. Life and romance do pick up different dimensions and meanings as we grow. Life is worth living when one has a friend, a soul mate as a partner. God bless u both and ur kiddo.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Such a sweet love story. It sure is amazing to have a best friend as you life partner!

    Wishing you a very happy blog anniversary and here’s to many more years of blogging and many more years of togetherness.

    Lots of love and wishes!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My mom said married life gets even better after the 10 year mark. From 34+, I can vouch for that. The best is yet to come! But after two decades of friendship, you’ve learned some of the lessons most people don’t learn in the first decade of marriage, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Everything happens for a reason.
    When two people are supposed to be together, the whole universe comes together to ensure that!
    Congrats for your Blogversary.
    Looking forward to see you at Odisha. Most welcome to visit Chilika Lake and other wonders 🙂

    Like

  8. Ah ha I finally found the post I had been trying to comment on previously. Loved that poem and that it gave you the necessary boost to begin this blog. Congratulations and may this blog continue to grow 😊
    Also your blogiversary is tomorrow!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Firstly congrats for you blog anniversary, many many more to come.
    Heartfelt story, we all have somewhere in life faced such instances that shape us to be what we are now, glad your love story grew mature every year.
    Bandipur is near to my place and I loved every bit of jungle safari, come over again i will company you, you can even enjoy it within your car on way to mysuru, re-living good old days.

    Liked by 1 person

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