The topic for Tuesday Photo Challenge this week is Forces. This can have multiple interpretation right from force of nature to force of love. I decided to choose a little unconventional theme that I consciously choose not to think or write about – Force of Almighty.
I grew up in a Bengali household in India where praying and worshipping of God was not restricted to just rituals and celebration. My parents believed in the power of Almighty and I had no reason to question their belief. Until that fateful night of Nov 2011 when I lost my mother to an undiagnosed and sudden sickness. My system of faith had been shattered. I stopped praying.
Co-incidentally, I had been married into a family where they worshipped a two hundred plus year old deity – Shaam-Rai. On the Sri Krishna Jayanti or Janmasthami(birth day of Sri Krishna), the in-house temple is made open to all to partake in the grand ceremony of fasting, praying, worshipping and having prasad(sanctified offerings). The first year that I became a part of this ritual was after my son was born. Until then I had been living in different cities owing to my job.
It is strange that through my toddler my broken faith is getting a new shape. When he questions me on the history of our family deity, the rituals associated with Durga Puja or the need to light lamps on Kali Puja, I revisit my childhood to dig out reasons and help him create his own memories of faith. The Force of Almighty is acting through my child to give me reasons of believing in Him yet again.
My eyes brimmed up reading your story. I lost my father last month and I wonder why did almighty ignore my mom’s prayers/efforts/faith? Years ago when I lost my kaaku, who was on his way home to celebrate Durga Puja with family, I had questioned myself about my faith in God. Yet this gave me no reason to pursue anyone to not believe in God. Everyone has the right to create his/her own memories.
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Thank you for sharing your story Shilpi. Sending you hugs. You are absolutely right. Each one should choose their path of creating memories, not based on someone else’s experiences.
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